Dr. Ardeshir Mehran

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Make the Pain Go Away.

I was getting an avalanche of emails, texts, and phone calls.

It happened three years ago. I had just finished presenting to a large group of senior professionals on the full spectrum of human emotions, sharing segments of my upcoming book. Specifically, I discussed my research on the linkages between stress, anxiety, depression, pain, and practices for wellbeing.

The room became highly charged as I began talking about emotional and particularly physical pain. There were many questions, note-taking, and snapping pictures of my slides. Many pained looks.

The inquiries afterward were mainly about physical pain—dormant aches and discomfort, lingering physical soreness, complications (lower back, neck, jaw, throat, shoulders, stomach, chest) or physical hollowness.
I felt overwhelmed how best to help so many and kept saying see your physician.

Let me highlight an important, intensely private, and poorly appreciated reality of many senior professionals…their physical well-being.

Basic science. Physiology trumps psychology. The brain takes its cues for health from the body, not vice versa. The body and the pain have their own languages; understand the language to change things. Men and women experience and express pain differently, gastrointestinal complications in women, and cardiovascular complications in men.

Below is what I shared with the audience that day, including the above visual.

Ardeshir’s 10 Universal Laws of Experiencing Emotions

  1. It’s in our DNA to perpetually seek fulfillment of our core emotional needs (i.e., The Bill of Emotional Rights).
  2. Stress happens—it’s a fact of life; stress enters our bodies, and stress is meant to leave our bodies.
  3. Prolonged and overwhelming stress and or/trauma morphs into Anxiety if our senses of safety, protection, and connection are compromised. Hyperarousal physical state and stress hormones endure.
  4. Prolonged and unaddressed anxiety thwarts the fulfillment of emotional needs and triggers depressive emotions (loss, mourning, deprivation of essential needs, derailment of development).
  5. Adaptive responses emerge—flight, flight, fawn, or freeze.
  6. A sense of time warp comes up, and mind-body-spirit fragmentation is experienced (diminished sense of wholeness, body integrity, life not making sense).
  7. The emergence of emotional pain—depression, disconnection, stuckness, numbness, loneliness, isolation, helplessness.
  8. The emergence of physical pain—pain serves as a “diversion” to the fact that our emotional needs remain unfulfilled. Physical pain is preferable to emotional pain, so that we hurt less.
  9. The emergence of additional adaptive responses—addiction, cravings, obsession, brain chatters.
  10. Time and resources spent on addressing steps # 7 through 9. For better, deeper, lasting healing begin by fortifying steps #3 through #6.

This high-level overview illustrates the totality of human experience dynamics; mind, body, and spirit. Many senior professionals deal with their physical pain by ignoring, medicating, or tolerating it. It seldom works.

As Rumi (14th Century Persian Sufi Mater) has said, “The cure to pain is through the pain.”

By working through our emotional and physical pain and we’ll find the levers for breakout growth.

Does this resonate? I’d welcome your thoughts.

I welcome working with you individually or on your team, joining your retreats, and strategy sessions, or delivering keynotes.

 

ABOUT ARDESHIR MEHRAN, PH.D.

  • Ardeshir is the Founder of Human Work Studio. He is a psychologist, behavioral researcher, business leader, and executive coach.
  • Life mission: Eradicate depression from humanity. Live fuller lives, and depressions dissipate.
  • He is the developer of “The Bill of Emotional Rights” and the author of the Amazon new-release bestseller, “You Are Not Depressed. You Are Un-Finished.” The book became an Amazon New Release bestseller and has already sold in the US, Canada, Europe, New Zealand, and Australia.
  • Senior professionals seek Ardehir’s help to awaken their dormant emotions and bodies to live life fully, boldly, and passionately.

With love and gratitude,

Dr. Ardeshir Mehran
hello@ardeshirmehran.com
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Bestselling Book: You Are Not Depressed. You Are Un-Finished.
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