Dr. Ardeshir Mehran

BLOG

DOES YOUR THERAPIST REALLY GET YOU?

It was all a façade.

I was bored and emotionally exhausted with my therapy sessions.

My therapist would ask gentle questions, probing about my emotions, actions, and plans. We exchanged constructive information.

It seemed that we were making progress and that my depression and anxiety were lessening. Not true.

I was silently screaming. I was seeking very different conversations, analyses, and actions.

My therapy concluded after nine months. I basically left off where I started, then started with a different therapist a year later. The cycle repeated seven times over 15 years.

I kept asking myself why multiple credentialed therapists did not get me.

I now know the answer. The focus of my therapists was to “fix” me rather than “awaken” me. For trauma survivors, like me, fixing hardly works. The work is to awaken the wholeness of the client and the untapped greatness.

Disheartened yet determined, I doubled down on my discovery, eventually found better solutions, and healed myself along the way. Over thirty years, I developed The Bill of Emotional Rights, and my signature Emotional Restoration Therapy, as documented in my bestselling book, You Are Not Depressed. You Are Un-Finished.

I am now the therapist that I wished I had years ago when I was struggling and stuck. See client testimonials and endorsements.

In my practice, I focus on these three must-haves to accelerate deeper connection, awakening, and ownership to support clients’ emotional breakout.

1. The Wholeness. Healing’s ultimate focus is to “become whole” again. The word healing comes from Latin, which means intact and integrated.

Illnesses are often indications of emotional, physical, or spiritual fragmentation and compromises.

Ask yourself: What does it mean to me to feel whole and complete? What is one step I can take today toward that goal?

2. The Story. To heal, we also must tell our stories. Illnesses are, in fact, manifestations of dormant stories. As a Jewish proverb says, “What is truer than the truth? Answer: the story.

Clients gain a deeper awakening by telling their fuller stories. Fuller stories encompass life narratives, emotions, struggles, hopes, as well as physical illnesses and pain.

Ask yourself: What part of my story hasn’t been fully revealed? What is one step I can take today to acknowledge it in meaningful ways?

3. The Witness. Equally important, we heal when our story is “heard” by an “attuned” witness. Mental illness calcifies us in a state of imperceptible emotional isolation and loneliness. An attuned witness helps dissolve this state.

Attunement is about creating a circle of safety and open spaces. It goes beyond being empathic. Empathy means being aware of and noticing another person’s emotions and reactions. Attunement is about noticing the whole person’s physical presence (breathing, energy, sensations, posture, eye contact), being in harmony, and creating safety to foster full expression.

Ask yourself: Is there anyone in my life who can hold space and bear witness for me to tell my story (friend, partner, therapist)? What is one step I can take to find such a witness? 

Combining these three human connection qualities and becoming aware of and claiming one’s Emotional Rights propels emotional wellness breakouts.

If you are in therapy, ask yourself, “Is the predominant focus of your therapy to FIX you or AWAKEN you to lead your healing?”

If awakening is your goal, I invite you to contact me. 

I am accepting new clients starting in May.

With love and gratitude,