To a Better 2026!
“Healing is never complete until we have been truly heard. May the universe send you someone who will sincerely care to listen.”
— Anthon St. Maarten
Dear colleagues,
During the holidays, I am typically asked this question in different words:
“How do I get over ‘this’ finally? I want to start the new year lighter.”
In response, I often share the gist of Harvard University Professor Dr. Judith Herman’s work on recovery.
She blew up the fantasy of growth as a single breakthrough. Instead, she described a three-phase process. Each phase matters and builds on the last.
If you want reliable outcomes for 2026, these are the three must-haves.
1. MOBILIZE
Stage 1 is the one most people want to skip.
This is not about excavating the hardest memories, or 10xing change.
In fact, for many people, talking about distressing emotions too early makes them feel more awkward, vulnerable, and ashamed.
You start by building higher safety and stability in your life:
- Are you safe and connected enough right now, physically, emotionally, relationally?
- Is your life reasonably stable and predictable?
- Can you get through a day without being emotionally hijacked, hurt, or overwhelmed?
- Creating a road map so the process feels more predictable.
- Building safety and predictability in your body, in relationships, and in daily rhythms.
- Strengthening your emotional balance, so triggers don’t become a 24-hour spiral.
2. ACKNOWLEDGE
This is a vulnerable stage of remembering and mourning, revisiting what happened in a way that:
- Softens your emotional gut punch
- Updates the meaning it has for your dignity and identity
- Reduces the fallout: flashbacks, rage, guilt, shame, physical symptoms
This is also where the grief comes up.
Grief for what happened to you that should not have, and grief for what never happened and should have.
The care that never came. The protection, respect, and love that were missing. The childhood, the body, the trust that never got to fully exist.
This is sacred work. And it is delicate.
Done too soon, it overwhelms.
Done with the right rhythm, it’s cathartic.
Stage 3 is my favorite—and the most neglected.
This is where the focus shifts from:
“What happened to you?”
to
“Who do you want to be now?”
Restoration is about revival:
- Re-entering relationships with stronger boundaries and self-respect
- Reclaiming work, creativity, play, pleasure, and spiritual life
- Letting your past be a part of who you are, but no longer the main headline
By this point, a person understands how their hard experiences have shaped them.
They can feel the scar, but the wound is no longer oozing.
The work becomes: What kind of life am I willing to build now that “this” no longer gets to own me?
That’s not a return to “before.” There is no “before.”
It’s a launch into a life that is finally, truly yours.
A Different Kind of New Year’s Resolution
As you think about a stronger 2026, consider this three-phase map as quiet milestones.
Growth is not just about less pain; it’s about more life.
This process may look slower than the quick-fix culture promises.
But it’s the only path I’ve seen that delivers.
If you’re carrying your own scars and want a fresh beginning, ask yourself:
- Which phase am I actually in right now?
- Where am I trying to sprint ahead, and where do I need to circle back?
Contact me for a complimentary consult on how to shift your depression and anxiety with clarity and confidence.
With love and gratitude,
Dr. Ardeshir Mehran
hello@ardeshirmehran.com
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